how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
