So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
