you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
