we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
