The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
