Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My cat gives me a boner
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Randomize
