I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
