My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There r osticjed everywhere
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Randomize