You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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