y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
