Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Found the puke drawer
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize