oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
