So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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