we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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