Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
do nipples grow back?
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