We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize