Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
It's Friday. Sex?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
