just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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