my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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