Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
