My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
love makes seman taste better
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize