New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
