Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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