glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
