O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
