that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
