He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I want her autograph on my taint
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
