Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
