I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
