is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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