come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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