ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
