hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
