I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sorry about my life...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize