Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
