I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
