well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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