I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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