I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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