Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she peed on how many people?
Someone shattered a urinal.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
