its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
