found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
