he puts the penis in happiness.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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