How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize