You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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