SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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