READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
