dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
