just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
