We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
