I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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