I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I would fuck him just for his dog
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
