She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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