Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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