STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
