More tranny stories later!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
